you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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