just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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