I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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