Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My pussy is not your playground.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
