Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize