my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
