Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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