I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
