Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
