I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
