420 ftw
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
