He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
