wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
