I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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