Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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