Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
