and my herpes radar will keep us safe
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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