im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
