I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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