so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
