He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
