also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
