i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
