is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
