tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize