I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
