do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
