It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
