we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize