So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
