Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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