just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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