I love black thongs
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
