How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
