Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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