I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
