They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
