Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
