Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
