I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
