It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
