used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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