what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize