Quick, to the slutcave!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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