you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
