Why are handjobs necessary in class?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
