Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
