spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
