Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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