I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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