he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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