she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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