Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
