Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
