About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
