I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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